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Someone help me please!

I have adooted a beautiful lab pit mix which for some reason the pound she came from only listed her as pit. However I have a 2 year old and I still can't understand my dogs body language , and I feel comfortable with her with my child for the most part. But the more I read online the more unsure and confused I become about it. So many people online for Google say pits are not good family pets for a family that has children but my best friend has had a pit since her little girl was 6 months old and everything has been fine. Can someone please tell me if I should be concerned or if im just being an over protective mommy with my toddler that absolutely loves her dog
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BCdogs

Good Dog
Super Moderator
What exactly is making you uncomfortable? Can you describe your dog's behaviour?

Every dog is an individual. Some are comfortable around kids, some are not. For the most part, APBTs and their mixes will be extremely human-friendly and adaptable to new people and children. Please don't listen to the negative stereotypes, just supervise your dog and treat her as an individual.

Be aware that your body language and emotions can be projected onto the dog. They are very receptive to human emotion. For example, if you're nervous when she's around the child, she may sense that and interpret it as the child being something to be nervous about. Try and let go of the tension when they're together. But again, always supervise.

Some more info would be very helpful.
 
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I notice that she will avoid mostly my daughter. And yea I do get a little tense. However my friend fostered her for 2 weeks after rescuing her from being euthenized and I really want to give her a great life. She is an amazing dog with me and my finace just doesnt seem sure of my daughter and she will just stare at her almost like staring her down or something but when im right there she just rather not be involved with her. And the only time she goes to my daughter is if my daughter has a snack like my daughters gold fish for her snack time . And when I sit down and hold my daughter then the dog will come up and just make it a point to only lick me all over the face. I have made it a point to have my daughter feed her in the mornings for feeding to try to let her know that my daughter is good and there to love her too. But my daughter has been here before the dog and I just don't know if maybe im being paranoid or an over protective mommy
 

Michele

Chi Super Dog
Administrator
Start NILIF:
http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm

Calm down because the dog will sense your anxiety. Keep having your daughter do the feedings. When you are holding your daughter, have the dog sit calmly. Have your daughter then give a small treat to the dog. Make sure your daughter is calm around the dog and when your daughter pets the dog, have her put her hand UNDER the dogs chin, not over the dog's head. Go at the dog's pace please until the dog gets adjusted to the home and the child.
 
What exactly is making you uncomfortable? Can you describe your dog's behaviour?

Every dog is an individual. Some are comfortable around kids, some are not. For the most part, APBTs and their mixes will be extremely human-friendly and adaptable to new people and children. Please don't listen to the negative stereotypes, just supervise your dog and treat her as an individual.

Be aware that your body language and emotions can be projected onto the dog. They are very receptive to human emotion. For example, if you're nervous when she's around the child, she may sense that and interpret it as the child being something to be nervous about. Try and let go of the tension when they're together. But again, always supervise.

Some more info would be very helpful.
I don't know if you recieved my reply. So ill try this. My best friend rescued my Noel from a dog shelter that is not a NO KILL SHELTER my Noel was going to be euthenized with in 24 hours if she hadn't been taken for fostering. My best friend has a daughter as well that is a year some months older than my daughter . My noel did fine with her daughter. Within 2weeks of my friend Gavin her i decided I would take her for adoption . But she keeps her distance from my 2 year old unless she has her snack gold fish for her snack time (my daughters snack time) and if I hold my daughter my Noel will come up and make it a point to only give me kisses. And she seems to always be staring at my daughter like maybe staring her down or something. I don't know what to do or what to think. My daughter is not even 2 really quiet yet. I've had my Noel for 6days now and just don't want my baby getting hurt. I love my Noel to death I want to give her a great life with lots of love. I jusy wonder if she likes my daughter or if she would be happier in a home with no children .
 

BCdogs

Good Dog
Super Moderator
I see both your replies.

Considering it has only been a week, I think the dog is probably still very unsure and just getting used to her new environment and people. I highly suggest implementing the 2 week shut down and following through with NILF training as Michele suggested.

It can take weeks to over a month for a dog to settle into a new home and show their personality. Considering she's been in some high-stress situations and bounced around a fair bit, I think she's probably feeling a little anxious and just needs time to settle.

So try the shutdown and NILF. Keep supervising interactions at all times. Read up on canine body language so you can make yourself familiar with signs of stress and discomfort. I think you will see her relax over the next few weeks if she is slowly and appropriately integrated into your home.

Does your daughter look at the dog a lot too? I know some children are very open about staring at things that are intriguing or new to them. Prolonged eye contact can be uncomfortable for some dogs, so she may be staring back because she is sensing the eye contact and wants to keep an eye on your daughter if it makes her uneasy. It will be very important for you to try and teach your daughter appropriate ways to interact with a dog. At that age it can be hard to really explain body language, which is where your vigilant supervision will be so important.
 
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My daughter doesnt ever stare at her. And I have read the body language stuff. But it doesn't make sense to me. If there was a page of cut and dry I might but I don't understand most of it. And I won't give up on my Noel unless I try it all and out of nowhere she mulls my baby. I love my dog. Truly do. And couldn't replace either my dog but especially my daughter
 

BCdogs

Good Dog
Super Moderator
My daughter doesnt ever stare at her. And I have read the body language stuff.

Okay, that was just a thought based on behaviour I have seen from other children and dogs.

Like I said before, give the dog some time to get used to her new surroundings and people. Try the training techniques mentioned above. Supervise heavily. If you're still concerned after she's been home for a month or so, contact a behaviourist to observe the interactions between your daughter and the dog. There's not a whole lot we can do from the internet, and none of us are behaviourists. All we can do is try to give you some tips to use at your own discretion.
 
I will do the treats and praise consistently while they interact positively . And defiantly look into getting in for some classes. My Noel does great listening to me and my fiance just doesnt seem sure. Thank you for all the great advice!
 

Lillie May

Good Dog
My daughter doesnt ever stare at her. And I have read the body language stuff. But it doesn't make sense to me. If there was a page of cut and dry I might but I don't understand most of it. And I won't give up on my Noel unless I try it all and out of nowhere she mulls my baby. I love my dog. Truly do. And couldn't replace either my dog but especially my daughter
This one strikes a chord with me because I love both kids and dogs. Educating parents is the best way to prevent the majority of dog bites to kids. In the photo it can be taken at least 4 different ways, the dog is probably stressed, but she could also be unsure, afraid, or even feel threatened. So you want her to feel safe around your daughter, most importantly you want your daughter to be safe.

It's really a lot of common sense, always keep yourself between dog and child. When your daughter is running around being a toddler, it's unsettling to the dog. 2 year olds bounce around, make silly noises, scream, cry, etc. think how this would look to the dog. That's why you can't leave them alone in a room, not even one second. If you have to leave the room take your child with you.

I would also tether the dog to you while your daughter is playing, you can use that time to condition the dog to commotion going on around her. Praise and reward heavily for calm behavior. It also ensures safety for both. When your daughter comes for a hug or whatever, make sure your between the 2.

I'd also take a basic obedience class with her, it's a wonderful bonding experience, do your homework on the trainer before enrolling. No Petsmart type place, you want a trainer who knows how to train bull breeds. Sit in on a class before enrolling.

Google - teaching dog safety to kids. There are a lot of good ones on there. These sites have videos, posters, everything you need to teach the right way for kids & dogs to interact. All of these things I've stated apply to ALL dogs & kids. Ask your friend who fostered her if she can come over to help give you pointers, but I would ask them if they take precautions with dogs & kids. If they don't, ask around and find someone who does. If you want to know more, just ask. I had dogs before I had kids, but I grew up with dogs and was taught safe interaction with them. :)
 
The picture I posted Was mid way through my dog giving my daughter kisses. And I always am between them , she had been with a toddler at my best friends house where she was fostered. So I then had my friend bring my now dog over for an introduction to my daughter to see how it'd go. Obviously if there were any nasty or foulness i wouldn't have wanted to adopt her. I had to be a parent before worrying about getting a pet. The introduction went fine. No problem. No we all sleep together in bed (me my daughter and my Noel) she stays at the foot of my bed though?
 

Leslie H

Good Dog
I think you are rushing things way too quickly. The dog has not had time to adjust to either household, it takes months, not days. I would not permit any contact between dog and child yet. It's not worth the risk. I would not allow the dog in your bed w/the child, that is a very common place where territory/resource guarding problems to happen.
 

AcctMom

Puppy
I have a 9 year old so clearly different than a toddler. But it did take the longest for our dog to decide he was safe. Now she watches for him to get off the bus and loves to play with him. We are doing a training class because the kid needed training just as much as the dog.

So while it's harder for you with a younger child, both the dog and daughter need taught how to treat each other. Calm down but also use common sense. Don't allow them alone for even a second. They will probably be best friends but it could take some time.
 

Cosmic Charlie

Good Dog
You have good advice here, so follow it. Please do not ever leave your dog with your child unsupervised, even for a moment. You don't know what breed the dog you brought home is and you will never know without having a legitimate pedigree. Regardless, the dog is most definitely a bull breed and has apbt characteristics, but that's in itself isn't enough to determine a specific breed(s). It appears to me as you are uncomfortable with the fact this dog is a bull breed based on your wording and choice of terms/phrases. Such as "have adooted a beautiful lab pit mix which for some reason the pound she came from only listed her as pit.". Like I already stated, you, the shelter, nor anybody else can determine what breed this dog is. With that said, the shelter seems more on point with a bull breed (apbt, amstaff, am bully etc.) than it does with other breeds, such as lab. I see absolutely zero lab features in that dog and i doubt it's a lab mix. The reason I'm bringing this up is because it appears to me as you are trying hard to divert your mind away from the fact this dog IS a bull breed. It may not be an APBT, which from the photos your dog seems to resemble fairly strongly. You add the statement that your unsure why they called her a "pit" and you already have made up your mind it's a lab mix. Between this and the rest of your posts it appears to me as you're hesitant towards this dog and the breed in general, whether or not you want to admit it. If this is the case please reconsider your options. A dog is an obligation and a responsibility, as with your child. Your child should come first and if this dog or breed makes you uneasy then you should look into other options before the dog settles down in your home. This is a commitment for many years and it will be a LONG decade or so if all the dog does is stress you out and make you uneasy. If this dog puts your child at risk in any way it should be rehomed. It's ok to admit this dog (or a specific dog) may not be the ideal candidate for you and your family. Not every dog will work for every type of living situation. I'm aware that you "saved" this dog from being euthanized and that you feel as you did the dog a just service. Don't feel obligated to save every animal out there, no matter how tempting it can be. Sometimes a dog is better off without a child, with a stronger owner, bigger yard, more time etc. Don't force a dog to adapt if it's not having it. Once again, I am not even saying this is true for your situation and dog, nor am I saying the dog fits the bill for such a situation. I am saying I interpret a sense of fear, discomfort, stress, anxiety, ignorance and other negative emotions when you discuss this dog. Everything from denial of breed to individual word choice gives me that impression and I may be interpreting it wrong, but at the same time these types of posts by new posters/owners tend to be quite common here. Please don't take this as me "attacking" you or being "mean" because it's often that a new poster such as yourself comes here seeking help and dislikes the answers they received, regardless of the fact the post that usually sets off a new poster is usually correct. Sometimes a new poster comes here hoping for a specific response, often to confirm what they already believe to know. Those incidents always end the same way with the poster not accomplishing the task they set out to due to ignorance. We are all adults here, no ones being rude or mean and that is just a diversion of the task at hand you set out to accomplish when a poster get's defensive, rather than address each statement presented in a mature manner. Please consider this and take my post for what it is.

I find extreme discomfort with the statement "nd I won't give up on my Noel unless I try it all and out of nowhere she mulls my baby." .
So you won't remove the dog from the situation UNTIL you're dog attacks your child? This is the most absurd and irresponsible statement out of them all. Let's hope that never happens because if that day comes it won't be pretty and you will wish tthat statement was never made. Any dog that will unjustifiably bite a child or a human NEEDS to be put down BEFORE they hurt or kill someone. I'm not saying this dog is a problem dog or fits the bill for one, but I am saying your outlook on this dog, dogs in general and dog ownership is toxic and if kept up is potentiating the chance of such issues to actually happen.


 
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