Two weeks ago today, I did the hardest thing I've ever had to do... I said goodbye to Mollie. We found out in April that she had a tumor in her liver, & I have spent the entire year trying to keep her healthy. She has had mostly good days, & a few bad, but for the most part, her summer was good. On the weekend of the 4th, she had an abscess come up on her abdomen. She went to the vet the 7th, he drained it, and we dealt with a draining abscess for a week. By the 14th, it was still draining, and not really seeming to go down any. Bad news came that afternoon when the vet called & said the abscess had become necrotic. He said she had anywhere from 6-8 hours, or 6-8 days before it ate through her abdomen wall, but once it did, she would go downhill fast. I have told him all along, I did not want her to suffer, no matter how hard it was for me to let her go, so I made the decision to take her in on Wednesday, the 16th.
We had a retirement party at work for 2 of my coworkers Tuesday night, with grilled steaks. I got the biggest steak I could find, ate about 1/4 of it, saved the rest for Mollie, gathered up some of the guys that had steak on their plates, and ended up with 4-5 pounds of steak. I took that, along with 2 rolls, & stopped to get a half gallon of vanilla ice cream, on my way home from work. I have been having to force her to taste food most of the time, just to get her to taste it. Once she tasted it, she would usually eat, but getting her to taste it was sometimes a problem. But the night I brought the steak home, I didn't have to push her to taste it, she tasted it on her own, and gobbled up almost every bite of it, all except the fat, and maybe 5 or 6 pieces. Then she ate both rolls, went outside to potty, then came in and ate a big bowl of ice cream. I just knew she would be sick from eating so much, but she slept like a baby... even had a big dream of her chasing something, & was just kicking & twitching like crazy. I started to wake her up, then decided to just let her dream.
Wednesday morning, she ate about 10-15 Vanilla Wafers, went outside & sniffed for the deer, and looked great! I met her at the vet at 11:20 & she ate more vanilla wafers, & doc came in to see her one last time. I thought maybe we needed to put it off, because she was doing so good, but he said waiting was just prolonging what was to come. He gave her a shot to relax her, & when she got wobbly, I laid her down in front of me in the floor. In just a little bit, my girl was gone... she was 2 weeks shy of 12 years old.
I lost part of my heart that day, a part that will never recover. I cry every day, I miss her more than I thought possible. I have missed work because I just can't pull myself together. How can someone love a dog as much as they do, & more so in some cases, than I do humans? How can my heart ache this much, & how will I ever be able to look at another dog without thinking about her? I can't even look at the other dogs, forget playing with them or loving on them... my heart aches too much for Mollie. My entire year has been consumed with taking care of her this year, & they have all taken a back burner... now I fear I will never be able to recover enough to ever love on them. Right now, I am just too consumed with heartbreak, & I can't focus on much of anything at all.
Rest well sweet, sweet Mollie. My heart will never be the same ....
Into Paradise may the angels lead you.
(This picture was taken on the last morning I had her, 11/16/16. She could smell the deer back behind the house).
We had a retirement party at work for 2 of my coworkers Tuesday night, with grilled steaks. I got the biggest steak I could find, ate about 1/4 of it, saved the rest for Mollie, gathered up some of the guys that had steak on their plates, and ended up with 4-5 pounds of steak. I took that, along with 2 rolls, & stopped to get a half gallon of vanilla ice cream, on my way home from work. I have been having to force her to taste food most of the time, just to get her to taste it. Once she tasted it, she would usually eat, but getting her to taste it was sometimes a problem. But the night I brought the steak home, I didn't have to push her to taste it, she tasted it on her own, and gobbled up almost every bite of it, all except the fat, and maybe 5 or 6 pieces. Then she ate both rolls, went outside to potty, then came in and ate a big bowl of ice cream. I just knew she would be sick from eating so much, but she slept like a baby... even had a big dream of her chasing something, & was just kicking & twitching like crazy. I started to wake her up, then decided to just let her dream.
Wednesday morning, she ate about 10-15 Vanilla Wafers, went outside & sniffed for the deer, and looked great! I met her at the vet at 11:20 & she ate more vanilla wafers, & doc came in to see her one last time. I thought maybe we needed to put it off, because she was doing so good, but he said waiting was just prolonging what was to come. He gave her a shot to relax her, & when she got wobbly, I laid her down in front of me in the floor. In just a little bit, my girl was gone... she was 2 weeks shy of 12 years old.
I lost part of my heart that day, a part that will never recover. I cry every day, I miss her more than I thought possible. I have missed work because I just can't pull myself together. How can someone love a dog as much as they do, & more so in some cases, than I do humans? How can my heart ache this much, & how will I ever be able to look at another dog without thinking about her? I can't even look at the other dogs, forget playing with them or loving on them... my heart aches too much for Mollie. My entire year has been consumed with taking care of her this year, & they have all taken a back burner... now I fear I will never be able to recover enough to ever love on them. Right now, I am just too consumed with heartbreak, & I can't focus on much of anything at all.
Rest well sweet, sweet Mollie. My heart will never be the same ....
Into Paradise may the angels lead you.
(This picture was taken on the last morning I had her, 11/16/16. She could smell the deer back behind the house).
