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Ignorant family members.

Discussion in 'Emotional Support' started by Reddington, Oct 15, 2013.

  1. Reddington

    Reddington Puppy

    When I adopted my APBT mix, it was after a long discussion with my family, whereupon we agreed that we'd be cautious about introducing her to small animals and other dogs, due to the nature and instincts of these dogs. Everyone was informed of the risks and dangers when it comes to prey drive and dog aggressiveness, no matter how much of a love she was with people.

    Then we brought her home. I had made preparations. A solid chain, as described elsewhere in the forums. A safe, quiet place for her to adapt to her new household. Plenty of good, high quality food waiting to go, toys.

    My father has decided suddenly that because our new dog is fantastic with people that she must be fantastic with everything, and is outright ignoring all the rules we'd agreed on to make sure our cats didn't get killed, or avoid dog fights. He waits until I'm not there. Then it's 'oh bring your german shepherd over' or 'take down the gates so she can meet the cats', or 'we don't need to tie her out, just let her out the door'. I find out later that she'd snapped at the strange bad-mannered dog they brought into the house (It's only been 3 days since we got her!), and twice grabbed and picked up a cat that strayed too close before she was forced to drop it, with minor damage to the cat. Then he threw out my crate and now wants me to use this 60-pound-dog plastic and metal wire from Walmart to tie her up instead of the strong chain I'd nailed into the ground.

    'It's how you raise them', now, and 'You can train out dog aggressiveness and prey drive!'.

    This house is no longer one suited to a pitmix. It is a disaster waiting to happen. I am an adult, but I can't afford to move out and take my new dog with me. I can't be here all the time, thanks to work. I know one of these days if he doesn't knock it off, I'm going to come home to a dead cat and an angry family demanding I euthanize my dog, when she's doing exactly what her nature says she should!

    How do I convince him there is a very clear and present danger we NEED to adapt to and manage? He was onboard and understood before we brought Bonnie home. Now that she's here, he's convinced breed doesn't matter and we just need to train her more. He doesn't grasp that 'good with people' does NOT mean 'good with anything else'.

    I am now of the opinion I need to get this poor, sweet dog rehomed to somewhere who will follow the rules of owning an APBT before she's killed for someone else's stupid mistake. I've already fallen for her, and doing so is going to hurt a lot, but I am not seeing a better option. I can manage the dog. I can't manage my moron father.
  2. Lee D

    Lee D Good Dog

    sad deal, but im gonna say rehoming might be your best option...some people will only learn the hard way.
  3. dalvers63

    dalvers63 Good Dog

    I have to agree with Lee. Unless you can put her in a crate that is locked when you leave or another secure place that they can't get to her the best thing you can do is rehome her. If you adopted her from a shelter you might be required by the contract to return her there. Either way, leaving her in the situation that is starting to develop at home is just asking for trouble (as you are aware).
  4. PocketPal

    PocketPal Big Dog

    Tough call, I refuse to rehome...rather have not gotten the dog in the first place. But what's done is done. My rule was that I'm the only handler of the dog-no "if,and or but's"

    Golden Rule
    Rule #1
    I'm always right
    Rule #2
    If you question my action, go back to Rule #1

    Hands-off dad and everyone
  5. Reddington

    Reddington Puppy

    I'd rather not anyone learn the hard way. With this breed 'hard way' means maimed or dead pets.
  6. Lee D

    Lee D Good Dog

    yes it does
  7. Reddington

    Reddington Puppy

    PocketPal, I was SUPPOSED to be the only one handling her, but that went out the window as soon as I left for work. I'll have to contact the shelter; she'll have the benefit of being UTD on shots and some headway on training and housebreaking at least. And a definite label of NO CATS. I don't want to rehome but I am fairly sure of the outcome at this point. Why should this beautiful, affectionate dog die because of someone else's stupidity? :( His argument when I mentioned I'm probably going to rehome or return to the shelter is 'there goes all your wasted money'.

    I'd rather waste money than see her or my cats die.

    I did have a crate. A nice one too, stainless steel. He threw it out. I won't be able to afford another til paycheck next week, and finding somewhere to hide her is undoable. It's frustrating all around.
  8. PocketPal

    PocketPal Big Dog

    Yeah, that sux. I call it provincial thinking. Peeps are stuck in a simpler time and can't understand the modern conveniences we have or the practices that goes with it. To throw out your property is a "power" play and I won't get into your family dynamics. best to you, I don't offer GL cause all luck is bad.

    As for wasting money, what's done is done...money comes and goes. And replacing your cats or other animals for the dog is the wrong message for sheltered dogs. They started off as problems looking for a home, you don't want the rest of the house to become a bigger problem. Really sux, but if it helps you're doing the right thing.
  9. omgrobyn

    omgrobyn GRCH Dog

    I would..

    1. Lose my fucking temper and flip the fuck out

    2. DEMAND that dad reimburse the full cost of the nice crate (this would be during the temper meltdown). Throwing something like that out is plain disrespectful, it doesn't matter who the fuck you are.

    3. New crate, padlocks and zip ties.

    Maybe a nice shelter worker could hold onto her for a week?

    Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2
  10. Reddington

    Reddington Puppy

    She'll be returning to the shelter soon. Not right away. She'll have a better chance of a new home if she has all her shots and is spayed, so I'm getting that done. I got a new crate, and a padlock for it so he can't open it and let her out. I know it's the right thing to do. She'll get a really good home now that she's not a blank history, and will have a reference in us. But it's still hard.
  11. Zylonist

    Zylonist Little Dog

    You shouldn't have got a dog, I still say the best time to have a dog is when you live on your OWN!! Way to many variables that come in to play when you're under your parents roof. Sadly the one who has to respond for that animal if something were to happen like kill your neighbors dog, cat etc... is your parents. If you can't move out I would definitely try to rehome him, accident waiting to happen. GL
  12. Reddington

    Reddington Puppy

    Zylonist, I've had a dog for thirty years. Various dogs, not the same one obviously. This house has always had a dog.

    I'm not a teenager getting my first pet. I'm an adult. I have owned and raised other dogs before.

    And if you actually read my post.. and my response right above yours, she is being returned to where I got her, before she can do any harm, and now she'll have a 'no cats' label to prevent this from happening again. I'm not moving out just to keep her. Nobody here, or myself, would be able to afford it; they'd lose the house and I can't afford an apartment.
  13. Zylonist

    Zylonist Little Dog

    Yeah I missed your last post. Good to know your not a teenager :)
  14. lizzie13

    lizzie13 Good Dog

    You definitely do not sound like a teenager. :-) I hope everything works out for you and the dog. Glad you are being proactive.
  15. Indeed the best thing it to rehome if you can't trust your family with it.
    1 small mistake can cost a lot with these dogs.
  16. Michele

    Michele Chi Super Dog Staff Member Super Moderator

    You are doing the responsible thing. Kudos to you!
  17. CrazyK9

    CrazyK9 Good Dog

    Wow, what a tough situation :( I would be so angry if I was in your shoes. Your family disrespected you, plain and simple.
    Sorry you're going through this but it sounds like it was an unforeseeable event and you're doing the right thing to keep all the animals involved safe.
  18. Poisoned

    Poisoned GRCH Dog

    One little tidbit - about the crate/padlock. If it's the kind that folds or comes apart fairly easily, padlocking is pretty much for looks. I tried it with my foster to keep the guy living here from taking her out, and about had a panic attack when I came in to get her out and she was gone, lock was on, the crate was empty, and here he comes bopping down the road fifteen minutes later with her - he took the crate apart and put it back together because she was whining.

    It really sucks. It doesn't matter if you are fifteen or fifty, if you live with other people who are not 100% on board it's dangerous and unfortunately I didn't have the choice of rehoming when I was stuck in that position. They learned the 'hard way', in the end it was the dogs who suffered. You're doing what is right for her and your other critters, I'm sorry it can't work out, but you ARE doing what's right.
  19. thediva

    thediva Little Dog

    Can you foster the dog until the shelter finds an adopter? Unless it's a no kill shelter shots and good behavior don't mean a thing.

    Sent from my Z10 using Tapatalk 2 Beta-5
  20. BBPITS

    BBPITS Good Dog

    This is a strange one,you would think your dad would be more responsible with the dog then he is.I'm assuming it's his house, if so you don't want to cause shit for yourself by your own ignorance.I'm sure you've discussed the traits of the breed (animal aggression, etc) with him.If the situation can't be corrected,yes your only option is to re-home her.I would try to get myself financially stable and fly the coop.

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