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I will see you again sweet girl. RIP Raven, I love you.

Discussion in 'Memorials' started by ETRaven2, Oct 8, 2017.

  1. ETRaven2

    ETRaven2 Little Dog

    Hi,
    I know it's been a really long time. I've been chugging along as a single parent, am in nursing school and haven't had a second to shit, let alone post.
    However, just wanted to update, and possibly ask for some support. I put my heart dog, Raven, down September 17 at 3:39pm. I can't even, oh my God, I miss her so bad.
    For those that don't know, Raven was a rescued as a puppy from a hoarding type situation. She was a nightmare and completely reactive, we flunked puppy class because she hated other dogs even at 4 months. We ended up doing online, home training and reactivity work (Denise Fenzi stuff) and we had a really great behaviorist working with us as well. We had systems in place to keep her and others safe and all was going well. However, it takes ONE time, ONE slip up. And it happened. Raven bit a child, tore her leg up actually. It was a friend of my 8 year old daughter. I wasn't home at the time, my kids' Dad was at the house and did not secure the dog. Friend came in all crazy, squealing, like little girls do, and Ray felt threatened, went after her.
    I got home to a bloody mess. Long story short, I threw the little girl into my car, rushed her to her parents and offered to drive them all to the ER. They declined. Once I got them situated, I came home, packed up my baby girl, my partner, my TV buddy, my animal that knows exactly what I'm thinking, the dog that would walk through fire to please me and drove her to the ER Vet (it was a Sunday) to have her euthanized. That's as far as I can type/talk about this. My effing heart hurts. Sad is not even the word. I am heart broken.
    Why did I make the decision? Because I knew in my heart it was the right thing. All variables together, it was the best for my Raven. I did it that day, because believe it or not, I was in shock and acting completely logical, the situation hadn't hit my heart yet. That, and I knew that if I waited until the following day, I'm not sure that I would've gone through with euthanasia. My heart would've taken over.
    So, I'm back, a hot mess and would love some advice on how to heal from this. It's been 3 weeks and I can't even take her collar out of my purse. My mom came over and cleaned up all her stuff and put it in a box for me. I miss her at night, I miss her in the morning, I miss her when I go to leave and tell her to be a good girl and I'll be back soon. I miss her being my shadow. She was such a problem child, but I think that makes it even harder sometimes. We worked so hard together and had this unbreakable bond.
    I just kept telling her that I would see her again. I promised her I'd see her again. And with that I can't see through my tears, so I'm gonna stop. Here she is, my little nugget.
     

    Attached Files:

  2. Nat Ursula

    Nat Ursula Good Dog

    OMG, I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. I hope the little girl will be okay. It will take time for you to get over your loss. Clearly you loved Raven and tried to give her a good life.
     
    Capt. Roxy and ETRaven2 like this.
  3. ETRaven2

    ETRaven2 Little Dog

    Thank you for the kind words Nat. In all my grief writing that, I forgot to update about the little girl. She is doing fine, only had superficial damage, no muscles or arteries were involved (thank God). We baked her cupcakes and took her flowers that next day and I've been following up regularly. The parents have been so nice about it. They're dog people, so I think they are trying to understand better than most.
     
    Capt. Roxy likes this.
  4. Pitbullmom1

    Pitbullmom1 Big Dog

    So sorry for your loss.
     
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  5. ETRaven2

    ETRaven2 Little Dog

    Should mention too, that when asked Raven's breed....the answer was "mutt" bc that's what she was. Further, I "blame"** the BC gene for making her so neurotic.
    **blame is not the right word but cannot think of a more appropriate one. Brain is fried from A&P II homework.
     
    Nat Ursula likes this.
  6. Nat Ursula

    Nat Ursula Good Dog

    Whew, what a relief.
     
    ETRaven2 and Capt. Roxy like this.
  7. Michele

    Michele Chi Super Dog Staff Member Super Moderator

    Sorry for your loss
     
    Capt. Roxy, ETRaven2 and Nat Ursula like this.
  8. Capt. Roxy

    Capt. Roxy Good Dog

    I am so sorry for your loss... *HUG*
     
    ETRaven2 and Nat Ursula like this.
  9. Madeleinemom

    Madeleinemom MS Bites, My Dog Doesn't Staff Member Super Moderator

    I am glad that the little girl will be o.k. And I am sorry for your loss; it is hard to PTS a beloved dog, but surely especially so, when you have to make the decision in these circumstances. RIP, Raven.
     
    Capt. Roxy, ETRaven2 and Nat Ursula like this.
  10. ETRaven2

    ETRaven2 Little Dog

    Thank you all, for the support and kind words.
     
    Capt. Roxy and Madeleinemom like this.
  11. steve07

    steve07 Big Dog

    So sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine. However IMO it was the right thing to do
     
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  12. ETRaven2

    ETRaven2 Little Dog

    Absolutely, it was the right thing. Reflecting, I should've done it sooner. Her reactivity was getting worse with age, not better. Mine is a cautionary tale.
     
  13. EstyEsty

    EstyEsty Little Dog Premium Member

    So sorry to hear about you having to put your girl to sleep. You did the right thing. I too had to put my first pit, Paris Hilton to sleep. She was my everything...I had her 11 years and I took her everywhere she was so calm.....but she got cancer and our vet did surgery and got all of the tumor.... But he warned me that it was the bad, aggressive cancer. 6 months later she was breathing pretty hard one nite so the next day I took her in.....and I knew.....it had spread to her lungs.... They said she might live another 2 months.....I told her that night as we layed together in the living room that I would not let her suffer....
    The next am she died in my arms.. what saved me that horrible day was that I bought another white female pit. If I hadn't done that I know it would have been worse! Now I have Peetie but....even right now I am crying over Paris. It's been a little over a year..... It's hard.....just take it one day at a time till you meet at the Rainbow bridge....
     
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  14. EstyEsty

    EstyEsty Little Dog Premium Member

    RIP RAVEN.
     
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  15. _unoriginal

    _unoriginal Cow Dog Staff Member Super Moderator

    ETRaven, I remember posting with you years ago. I'm so sorry you had to make this decision but you absolutely made the right one. You did the right thing for Raven by letting her go when you did instead of waiting until she was possibly confiscated and euthanized by strangers. I'm so sorry though, I know your heart is hurting but you did the best you could for her.

    You'll heal and move on. Just give yourself time to grieve.

    Rest in paradise with no more fear, Raven.
     
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