[Wiggle_Butt]

sex in the dark..........

There was this couple that had been married for 20
years. Every time they made love the husband always
insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was
ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy
habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild,
screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and
saw
her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a
vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard
She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me
all of these years?
You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and
says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."

[jennay2]

Lmao

[Michele]

I was afraid to look at the thread..LOL

[MercedesMama]

LMAO! Ok here's one...

A very conservative husband and wife never used the word sex...they called it washing machine.
One night they were laying in bed and the husband says "I want to have washing machine."
Wife says "I'm just too tired, I've gone to the grocery store, cleaned house, took the kids to practice and I just want to sleep"
So the husband gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom.
While he's gone the wife thinks to herself " you know he does a lot for us, maybe I do washing machine"
So the husband gets back into bed and the wife says.."Let's do washing machine"
The husband says "It's ok. It was a small load, I did it by hand."

[jeoestreich]

LOL Both of those are hilarious.

[monkeys23]

Lol

[PNWPBR]

I just had to read those out loud to Jake!

[marciak3]

I hadn't heard the washing machine one before! Very funny!!