[Marty]

I wish I were a Rottweiler and I could carry a gun.
I'd go after all those folks, who think that torture’s fun.
I gather up a gang of us, a Spitz, a Chi, a Hound
We’d travel in a motor home, and hunt these people down.
We’d start with all the puppy mills, we’d open all their doors
And tell them all “run like the wind, and run for the golden shores”.
There’s someone there that’s waiting, with open arms for you
I promise you can trust them, they’re animal res-cue.
If I could talk, I’d call all the millers out into the night
I’d bare my teeth, and hold my gun and watch them shake in freight.
And then I’d laugh and laugh and laugh and then I’d laugh some more
As I through them in the wire cage and slammed the metal door.
So it’s on the next, Oh this is fun as we joke around with each other
We started drawing maps and making plans.
Got a lot of ground to cover.
There’s a Pit on the road someone has dumped
We offer him a ride.
It’s not hard to see the life he has led by the pain in his eyes.
We give him lots of food and drink, and he shows no aggression
He hears our plan and wants to join, and teach mankind a lesson.
We’re off again, to search this land for the murderers who went free
To teach the ones who stomped and burned and hung dogs from a tree.
One by one we paid them back for everything they’ve done
And repeated their words back to them “isn’t torture fun”?
After days and days of traveling, gathering troops along the way
Thinking of our forever homes and people who threw us away.
We long for a loving family, Oh wouldn’t that be neat!!!
Instead, they dump or beat us or have us put to sleep.
Maybe we are not thru yet, there’s many more folks to see
The judges and the lawyers, the USDA or maybe the AKC.
We give all politicians giardia and mange, heartworms too
And take away their voices, and their water and their food.
We’ll take the rest and dump them on the highway by the side of the road
And strip them of their dignity, give them fleas and ticks abode.
I smile to me self as this vision dances in my head
My eyes grow very heavy, as I snuggle in this soft bed.
I can hear in a distance, dogs whining and then a scream
When I wake up, I realize that this was all a dream.
The wire digs into my side, my feet and body sore
As I look down to the ones below that cold, hard, wire floor.
I start to beg like all the rest, please set me free today
I pray to god, I’d rather be dead then live this horrible way.
And guess what, I’m not a Rott nor do I have a gun
I’m just a little Dachshund, put to earth to play and run.
To be loved by ALL humans, like every dog should be
But if I did have a gun right now, I’d use that gun on me.