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Ladies!!! Question involving a guy

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by elyssamarie, Apr 27, 2011.

  1. elyssamarie

    elyssamarie Little Dog

    Okay bear with me while I try explaining this..
    You have a friend that has a boyfriend. Lives with him, is talking about having kids with him, ect.
    And she has quite a few ex's and doesn't talk to any of them...Ever. And one of her ex boyfriends started talking to you because he has bear hound puppies and you want to get one for your little brother. That same day he tells you that he wants to hang out sometime. You say okay because it's just hanging out..end of story.
    You decide to tell your friend about it because you don't want to feel like your doing anything behind her back (since it's her ex from a year or two ago) and she gets pissed. When you try talking to her she ignores you and finally says "Do whatever you want to do." Then she starts texting him and telling him that YOU don't date and trying to be a bitch.
    Then on that same night you find out that he picked her up to talk about it and he says that she was all emotional about it and blah blah blah. Then you get mad.

    What would you do about this situation??? Would you still hang out with him or would just leave it be because of how your friend is acting? I personally think it's immature and causes unnecessary drama but I need advice.
    She still isn't talking to me and I really didn't think this whole thing should have been that big of a deal..? Maybe I'm a bad friend? :confused:
     
  2. Alma

    Alma GRCH Dog

    Id leave that mess in my rear view mirror. As far as the gf, Id be done with her as well.. I dont appreciate my friends talking shit behind my back, if they do, they are no longer my friends.
     
  3. Owned by Luna

    Owned by Luna Little Dog

    If it comes between you and your friend then leave it be, it's not worth losing a friendship.
     
  4. Obed

    Obed Good Dog Premium Member

    I am not a lady, I am an old man... but the truth is you don't have a friend...lose the load and do what ever you choose with the guy...
     
  5. Bullyful

    Bullyful Little Dog

    For my friends and I in high school and after, we just decided, ex's are off limits, period. You say he picked her up because she was so upset, for a girl that supposedly hadn't talked to him in a year or better, she sure knew his number skippy quick didn't she?. I agree with Alma, I would tell him never mind, and have a heart to heart with my g/f, obviously she felt very threatened by you potentially 'seeing' him.
     
  6. MJJean

    MJJean GRCH Dog

    This is some immature BS. Time to think like adults and put on the big girl panties. I would tell the GF to grow up and either understand that I am free to be friendly with whomever I please or stop calling/messaging/FB'ing me.

    There is nothing wrong with you being friends with her ex. There is nothing wrong with you dating her ex if you so decide. They broke up between a year and 2 years ago and she's wigging out and starting shit? Really? Thats not the kind of person I would want to be close to.

    I could understand it if he was abusive or a crackhead and she was concerned for your safety, but if thats not the case she needs to mind her own business.

    And, yes, I have been there. I maintained a friendship with my best friends ex husband when they split up until he became an alcoholic and abusive and I decided I didn't want him in my life. But, when he was still a cool guy, I told my friend I was going to maintain a friendship with him and promised not to talk about her or her life with him because her privacy was important to her. She didn't much like it, but there was nothing she could do as we were all adults.

    And he picked her up blah blah. Ok, they seem to have unfinished business. So, make sure that if you decide to date him you know they aren't involved and if you decide to be his friend you stay well clear of their drama.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 27, 2011
  7. elyssamarie

    elyssamarie Little Dog

    Just talked to him and he doesn't want to hang out anymore because of whatever my friend and him talked about last night. I won't lie..I am furious because this is stupid.
    But I guess it's a good thing because then I won't have to deal with either of them
     
  8. Alma

    Alma GRCH Dog

    Unbelievable! I guess this validates my opinion. Neither are worth an ounce of your time. :no2:
     
  9. MJJean

    MJJean GRCH Dog

    Just make sure she understands you aren't talking to her because of her immature and backstabbing behavior and that its not over the guy.
     
  10. elyssamarie

    elyssamarie Little Dog

    Correction....

    I guess he told her that he wants to hang out with me and doesn't want her to mess thing's up.
    Sorry..I was confused and took it the wrong way

    I don't want her to be mad at me for something so ridiculous though..

    ---------- Post added at 10:49 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:48 AM ----------

    I would like to settle it so she does understand it...but she refuses to even look at me. :no2:
     
  11. MJJean

    MJJean GRCH Dog

    She's going to be mad about something so ridiculous unless you give her her way and refuse to be friendly with her ex. Thats her problem, not yours.

    If she is refusing to talk to you over this she is NOT your friend and never was. True friendships don't work that way.
     
  12. Miakoda

    Miakoda GRCH Dog

    That's not a friend.

    My suggestion? Leave her and her drama far far behind you. You don't need someone like that in your life....or her baggage.
     
  13. elyssamarie

    elyssamarie Little Dog

    Thanks
    Yes I really don't need this drama shit and it's immature. When I talked to my other friend about it her only reply was "How would you feel if you were in her shoes."
    Umm..I could care less. My ex's are in my past for a reason..
    Sorry if I'm rambling on, I'm just really stressed now because this is so ridiculous. It's almost funny!
     
  14. Jackson115

    Jackson115 Little Dog

    WHAT is the deal with the friend's-not-dating-exes thing?! I've always thought that was pretty stupid, why miss out on a great person that you could potentially have a great relationship with, all because it's a taboo thing with "friends"? People just need to grow up. I wouldn't waste my breath on that woman, and chalk it up to weeding out who your friends are and who aren't.
     
  15. Olivia

    Olivia Good Dog

    Honestly, it depends on who is more "worth it" to you in the long run. Are you going to be upset in the long run if you end up losing this girl as a friend? Is the guy someone you're interested in enough to risk this girl continuing to spazz out?

    The girl seems pretty ridiculous but girls often have a tendency for the ridiculous....if you seriously want to hang out with the dude, I would just do it. You had enough respect to say something to her when you could have done it behind her back. If she can't respect that, she can kick rocks.

    But if you're kind of indifferent about the guy, I would just say whatever to both of them and save yourself some childish drama.
     
  16. Harleys Momma

    Harleys Momma Good Dog

    Exactly what I was thinking!
     
  17. _unoriginal

    _unoriginal Cow Dog Staff Member Super Moderator

    I agree with this.. I'll try to write a more lengthy explanation later but I don't deal with "friends" that cause drama. I do NOT like drama and will remove myself from a situation that causes it, even if that includes ending a friendship.
     
  18. Gatorpit

    Gatorpit Good Dog

    I agree with everyone else. I don't do drama. At all. If ANYthing like that comes my way...that person is gone.

    Unfortunatley....that means I have very few friends, but the ones I do have are TRUE friends.
     
  19. Team Peanut

    Team Peanut GRCH Dog

    ugh things like this make me more and more happy that i am married.

    i wouldnt deal with either of them personally they both sound like too much baggage and drama.
     
  20. TonyOwen

    TonyOwen Little Dog

    This. Im not a girl but i agree with Obed 100%. Ive moved around a lot as a kid and a teenager and one thing that taught me is friends come and go, true friends will always make an effort so long as you do to remain in touch. Friends are nice to have but losing one or two isnt that big of a deal, especially since your bound to make new ones eventually.

    What she did was ridiculous, she didnt have to like it and she could of talked to you with respect about it. Which is what a friend would have done.

    You dont have to listen to me, naturally. :lol: But thats what id say.
     

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